IN
-the sublime
-military time
-walking away with your arms crossed
-walking away while your squeaking shoes echo
-exosomes
-dread
-hooves
-big diva energy
-talking to yourself in the car
-incense
-girl boss
-a partial mustache
-eating soup like a medieval person
-only smoking cigarettes at sundown
-weekly spy balloons
-gummy smiles
-transparency about hair transplants
-horror
-having sex
-reclaiming methy hue lighting for the home
-encouraging your parents to adopt methy hue lighting
-an increase in demonic possession
-an increase in miracles
-doppelgängers
-saying only “gänger” with an emphasis on umlaut
-affordable bunkers
-lakes
-getting Kyle Richards Ripped. The kind of ripped where your arms look like snakes.
-solving a mystery but keeping your findings to yourself
-being visited by an apparition
-to be clear, that’s apparition. not ghost.
-ghosts are basic.
-not using basic to describe anything
-lavender marriages
-curiosity
-sleeve tattoos
-being mad
-heteroflexibility
-going to mass once in a while but not in a Dimes Square way
OUT
-dimes square
-articles about dimes square
-saying “era”
-saying “it’s giving”
-saying “the way I”
-politics I don’t agree with
-ironic homophobia
-compulsive sharing of infographics
-tiktok
-people saying “gen z”
-saying “the main character”
-mystery illness
-saying that you hate small talk
-grow up! fuck you.
-normalizing anti-social behavior
-weaponizing anti-social behavior for yourself to protect yourself against anti-social behavior
-age gap discourse
-posting “are (____) people ok?” as a joke format
-proving that you voted on social media out of fear
-telling someone they are too online
-mayors
-fear of flying
-responding to things
-not being funny
-AI
-celebrities having anxiety
-Ozempic
-celebrities having podcasts
-celebrities talking about not bathing
-celebrities giving a “raw” interview on a podcast
-I’m talking about Dax Shepard
-I’m sure he’s perfectly fine in real life.
-I included this part above only because he scares me.
-please don’t tell him I said any of this.
-what if you got a knock on your door at night, and you looked through the peephole and it was Dax Shepard?
-are celebrities not bathing because the US government is using them to help normalize conserving water as water shortages will become more prevalent in our lifetime?
-we all need to know these things.
-in a show or movie, when characters are mid-sentence while driving, and suddenly another car t-bones them
-straight people referring to their sig o or spouse as their “partner”
-hating on straight people
-having an opinion different from my own
-train horns blaring in the distance at night
-George Santos. The party is over.
Just read this for the second time in a month and subsequently found myself cackling while on the subway for the second time in a month. Bravo...doll.
Che Diaz is collabing with George Santos rn mark my works