I was informed that my last post about Daylight Savings was factually incorrect. Apparently Daylight Savings starts in the Spring and lasts till November, not the other way around. We are now on Standard Time. Non-Savings. Just Time. Thank you to the person who let me know. How could I have known about which Savings is Daylight Savings? I could have researched it. Mama let’s research! But that would entail I had a hunch that I was wrong in the first place. Gays don’t know about these things. Gays can’t tell time! Gays are always late; gays are always in a hurry. When it comes to time, we have too much of it and not enough at all.
I want to be an exception. I will be the Gay to End All Tardiness. I am early to most things. I am known for being early. It’s not punctual, it’s alienating. My loved ones endure it. I say it’s a part of my recovery to be accountable. I am over-correcting years of sleeping through a 12 noon alarm on a Sunday to meet my parents for a brunch in Williamsburg because I had only gone to bed two hours before after staying up till 9 am in some random’s railroad apartment with no furniture, smoking weed to come down from the MDMA and cocaine I was forcing to 69 inside my body all night.
It’s really not about my sobriety, though. It’s thoughtful to be on time. That’s true. It makes people I love feel good, and cared for. But really, it’s that I am certain if I am late, the world will explode. It is my duty to arrive a half hour too soon and pace around. I will be early so you don’t have to. I am a Time Martyr. No matter how early I am, it’s not enough. I see myself as a sad mule, plodding along an empty dirt road, trying to get to where I’m going by sundown but knowing I won’t be able to. So I plan ahead. I want to appease Father Time. I will grovel at his knees and beg him for forgiveness. I will suck his old dick if it means I get back into his good favor again
To be wrong in a Substack, though. That is as bad as being late. The only left for me to do now is to delete my life and change my identity. Become a person who says “Right on!” and disappear into America.
We love a humble king
GEAT 💐